by Susan Sheppard

I am a relationship expert, and I hope you will allow me to share a few ideas with you about interacting with the opposite sex. My intent is to assist you in honing your skills to better play relationship roulette. When you are deciding whether or not to have a relationship, it is important to have clarity about what you truly want. Is it a boy/girlfriend? A date? A marriage? A friend?


You will want to know the qualities that are important to you in the person(s) that you want to attract. You also must accept that it is women who do the choosing. Even though it looks like it is men, you all clearly know that it is women who do the choosing. A man desiring a certain woman must firstly get himself in a position to be noticed by her so that she can then give him a signal it’s okay to make a move in her direction. You can argue this idea, but eventually you will surrender to the reality that this is the way it is.

If you want to have a significant, loving, committed relationship in the future, here are the first suggestions. It is necessary for you to meet a lot of members of the opposite sex. Notice that I said meet, not date or sex. The purpose in doing this is to expand your perception of who the opposite sex is for you. Each of us has a unique idea based on our own personal experiences. So, meeting people outside your comfort zone and being aware of certain traits and preferences will allow you to grow as a human being. It is very helpful to write down your observations about each of the individuals you meet. Here are three things you should be attempting to learn:


1. What is this person’s passion in life?

2. What is this person’s highest personal value?

3. How does this person treat, relate to and value the opposite sex?


If you are able to discern these things about a new person, you will be able to determine if you want to pursue knowing him or her on a deeper level.

Susan Sheppard is a speaker, writer, and mentor committed to helping others create authentic relationships that encompass chemistry, compatibility and respectful love. She is founder of Getting What You Want, a life and relationship coaching organization created to reveal the power you have to get exactly what you want in every facet of your life. Author of How to Get What You Want from Your Man Anytime, Sheppard has been relationship coaching for more than 20 years. Her courses focus on supporting individuals in restoring their self esteem and entering or reentering the relationship game.

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